In the latest episode of The Walking Dead’s Season 10C, fans get a deeper insight into how Father Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) and Aaron (Ross Marquand) are handling the rebuild of Alexandria now that Maggie’s back. They’ve been through a lot recently, barely scraping past the Whisperers, so it’s understandable their faith has been rocked. However, while Aaron’s powering through, still ready to trust strangers they meet on the road, Gabriel doesn’t seem like he’ll recover easily.

While the duo is on a treasure hunt, seeking provisions, they end up at a bunker where they score free food, drinks and other goodies to take back, allowing them a moment of brotherly bonding. But in the thick of it, as Aaron talks about their plans to move forward, Gabriel admits he doesn’t think he can see past the sins of their old enemies, such as the Saviors and traitors like Dante.

Gabriel’s tired of giving mankind chance after chance and just wants to hunker down, batten the hatches and protect what’s theirs. They can’t afford to risk trust and belief, not with people they care about at risk, and he hints he’s even willing to break the rules of the Bible to do so. Of course, Aaron wonders if it’s the whiskey talking, but things get put to the test the next morning.

Aaron and Gabriel are taken hostage by the owner of the bunker, Mays, who was spying on them. He chides Gabriel for talking so bitterly about people, making it clear Gabriel’s people are also “thieves and murderers.” Gabriel tries to play it off like he was drunk, but Mays says he believes alcohol makes people tell the truth. The tone changes in the final act when Aaron convinces Mays they’re good people, but just when it seems like he’ll be joining them, Gabriel whacks him in the head with Aaron’s mace-hand, instantly killing him.

At this point, Aaron knows Gabriel’s a different man. He’s never heard Gabriel be this cynical, admitting if Mays could have killed his family on the road to protect himself, they’d never be safe with him in their own camp. And when they stumble upon Mays’ twin and his dead family in a room shortly after, Gabriel feels justified.

Still, Aaron doesn’t want his friend to lose himself. But the fact Rick, Michonne, Carl and so many others are gone has hurt Gabriel, and he’s been thinking differently knowing Rosita and his daughter need an alpha to look after them. In that sense, Mays was right in telling Gabriel that he doesn’t feel like a man who should wear the collar anymore. But in Gabriel’s eyes, that version of himself was weak and needed to be reborn, even if it’s as a killer.

The Walking Dead stars Norman Reedus, Melissa McBride, Lauren Cohan, Josh McDermitt, Christian Serratos, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Seth Gilliam, Ross Marquand, Khary Payton and Cooper Andrews.