The Internet never forgets Kim, which is the first thing that came to mind when episode five begins with Kim Kardashian gushing over her new Balenciaga ambassadorship. She says that many fans wrongly assume she was already an ambassador of the brand (turns out, she was just a big fan).

But what she seems to hope people forget is the scandal Balenciaga went through a few years ago with their distasteful, BDM-inspired photo shoot featuring children. The inappropriate campaign was criticized by many, including Kim, who released a statement demanding the brand do better and saying she was reevaluating her future relationship with them.

Kim Is Okay Working With Balenciaga Again

However, it appears Kim revaluated, and she’s fine continuing to promote the brand, as evidenced by the episode. Her biggest concern isn’t the ethos of the brand or how associating them may affect her reputation. No – Kim’s biggest worry is how she’ll balance it with all the other projects in her life, taking another opportunity remind us she’s a busy, single mom … and we’re only a few minutes into the episode.

Kim also teases her new project, which is likely something most fans didn’t see coming, especially after how badly her acting was critiqued in American Horror Story.

But Kim is trying to pitch a comedy movie. Apparently, producers think that’s going to keep the viewers hooked all episode, because it quickly bounces to the next (boring) storyline.

This whole season, it feels like the Kardashian-Jenners are running out of interesting content for the family’s show. But perhaps nothing felt as manufactured and lackluster as the next scene, which shows Kylie and Kendall Jenner plotting to steal Kris Jenner’s poodle because they can’t convince their mom to give the pooch a specific hairstyle.

Kendall And Kylie Nearly Steal Kris’ Dog

When you think about it, taking someone’s dog and giving it a haircut you’ve specifically expressed a distaste for is just downright wrong. Even the girls seem to know what they’re about to attempt is bad behavior.

“I’m nervous. I’d be upset if someone cut my dog and they knew I didn’t want that hairstyle,” Kendall admits for the camera, likely not realizing how ridiculous she sounds.

When asked on a scale of one to 10 how mad she thinks her mom will be, Kendall admits there’s a reason they’re doing it for the show. “Because the cameras will be one her, I don’t think she’ll get that mad. She’ll play it cool, but then she’ll call us later and be like What the f***,’” Kendall predicted.

Despite admitting it’s a bad plan, Kendall and Kylie proceed to go to Kris’ house to find the dog in question. But here’s where the story line really falls flat because they’re so-called “prank” fails within a few minutes when Kris’ boyfriend Corey Gamble is quick to ask what they’re doing with the poodle.

Kris then enters the scene – the girls didn’t even attempt the dog napping when Kris was out of the house?! – and it couldn’t be clearer that Kris knew about the story line all along, since her only wish was that the girls had been a “bit more sneaky.”

“I have raised you smarter than this,” Kris said humorously.

The episode then pivots into Kendall and Kylie somehow trying to seriously discuss their insecurities and the struggles of media scrutiny. Kylie says public criticism makes her feel insecure, but simultaneously, that she’s secure and happy in her body. Make it make sense, Kylie. She also claims she started dissolving most of her facial and lip fillers, which, unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance…

Kim Is Starring In A Comedy Movie

Later in the episode, viewers get more insight into Kim’s new movie. She says the role was specifically written for her. The film is called Fifth Wheel and will follow several gal pals on a trip. Kim says it took inspiration from iconic films like Bridesmaids, The Hangover, and First Wives Clubs. Not only is Kim producing the movie and involved in constructing the story line and characters, but she’s also going to be starring and directing it.

After apparently pitching the flick to several studios (of course, we don’t see inside the meetings), Kim reveals she’s reached a deal with a studio and the movie is a go. But it’s apparently part of Kim’s larger movie ambitions.

“I can do a movie a year. I have about 10 years where I still look good. So, that’s all I’ve got in me. And then I’ll take some time off. That’s my 10 year plan, guys,” Kim told the camera, revealing she hopes to make multiple movies now that she’s apparently discovered her passion for acting.

Of course, Kim complains a bit more about how hectic her life is and how she doesn’t think she’ll have time for anything. But with the amount of resources she has access to – from nannies to personal trainers and chefs – I don’t think anyone feels bad for her.

Baby Rocky Makes His Television Debut

The episode ends on a sweet note when Kourtney Kardashian gives birth to her son, Rocky. The scene shows quite a bit – and no, it doesn’t seem like Kourtney insisted on putting on a ton of makeup this time around.

While we’re happy baby Rocky made a safe arrival after Kourtney’s tough pregnancy, I may speak for all viewers when I say we’re more relieving knowing we won’t have to hear about Kourtney’s pregnancy anymore.

It’s been nearly a year since Rocky made it earth side, so The Kardashians footage is pretty outdated.

And yes, Khloe Kardashian made a brief appearance in the episode, only to ponder buying a baby goat with Malika. She eventually decided against it upon realizing how much work it would be. It’s safe to say that it was another manufactured story line. Is it bad that week’s episode featuring a discussion about Rob’s inability to procreate may have been more entertaining? Yikes.