One of the paradoxes of being a geek is that nothing brings people together like conflict…specifically, arguing over which of our favorite heroes and villains would win if they were ever to clash. Normally, the celebrities behind these characters don’t weigh in on these kinds of geeky debates, but Hayden Christensen didn’t get this memo. In a recent interview with GQ, he was asked if Darth Vader could defeat Thanos from the MCU, and his answer was firm and unsurprising: “Vader beats everybody.”
The Rules Of Engangement
Despite Disney owning both Marvel and Star Wars (and probably our immortal souls before it’s all over), we’re not likely to ever see Darth Vader and Thanos have an onscreen clash. That’s why we took it upon ourselves to evaluate Christensen’s bold words that his Sith Lord could defeat Marvel’s Mad Titan. We’ve determined that outside of some very specific circumstances, Darth Vader would mop the floor with Thanos every single time.
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: if Thanos had the Infinity Gauntlet with all of the Infinity Stones and enough of a warning, he could just snap Vader out of existence. Even though Thanos is an infamous Marvel villain, this is an illustration of the Batman dilemma.
Fervent fans of the Caped Crusader always insist that the very human, very squishy Dark Knight could defeat gods, monsters, and Superman himself if only he had the right resources and prep time, but it’s not fun to imagine a lopsided fight where one foe is one hundred percent more prepared than the other.
The Burning Question
So, for the purposes of this argument, we’re assuming that Darth Vader is fighting a Thanos that has the Infinity Stones, but that doesn’t have advance warning that Vader will attack…someone who is significantly powered up but without the ability to end the fight with the snap of his finger before it even begins. With those ground rules established, it’s time to answer the burning question of nerds everywhere. Why, exactly, would Darth Vader defeat Thanos in a straight-up fight?
The Lightsaber
For one thing, Vader’s lightsaber would most likely be able to cut through Thanos, potentially killing him immediately. Avengers: Endgame director Joe Russo eventually responded to fans saying that Doctor Strange should have cut the villain’s hand off by claiming that the villain’s skin was nearly invulnerable. But Thor’s Stormbreaker axe worked just fine, so not only should a lightsaber do the trick (seeing as how it can cut through all but a handful of exotic materials in the galaxy), but Vader can also use the Force to make the blade attack from any and all angles.
The Force
Speaking of the Force, Darth Vader could likely put a mental whammy on Thanos long enough to kill him. Mantis is proof that the Mad Titan is vulnerable to mental manipulation, and she held him at bay despite her relative youth and inexperience in combat. Vader was one of the strongest Force users in the galaxy with a lifetime of experience hunting down fellow space wizards, so he should easily mop the floor with someone even Mantis could handle.
The Child Of Prophecy
With the Force, there are many ways Darth Vader could defeat Thanos, including telekinetically grabbing Infinity Stones (maybe even all of them and the Gauntlet) and using them for himself. However, the primary reason the Sith would emerge victorious is that he is a character of destiny, someone this energy field will protect so he can fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force.
Just as the heroes of the MCU played out the one scenario where Thanos could lose, Vader is effectively playing out a scenario where he is Force-ordained to survive, ultimately defeating the Emperor and saving Luke Skywalker.
Darth Vader Beats Everyone
While he’s obviously biased, we agree with Hayden Christensen: Darth Vader beats Thanos and “everybody” else not just because of his power and skill but because of his destiny. He may be an evil guy, but he is one with the Force, and the Force is one with him. Thanos is an arrogant and shortsighted foe, and anyone who thinks he could defeat this Sith Lord is foolishly underestimating the power of the Dark Side.
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