Teenage boys should watch the new Netflix show they can emulate the flawless male lead.
In real life, men can be disappointing. When they’re not being unreliable, weird, boring or sexually deviant, they’re often busy not doing things. Like remembering birthdays, carrying out basic domestic tasks or texting you back.
Men in romcoms however, are a different breed, because they’re usually composites of what straight women are looking for. They’re always hotter, more vulnerable and of course, funnier than any man you’ve ever met in your life. Instead of whingeing about the thermostat or cracking their knuckles, they say exactly the right thing at the right time.
They can see through your bullshit to the Real You. They can cook and they always listen to every piffling little thing you say, while gazing at you in unbridled wonder. Oh, and also they can be masterful when required, which means making decisions when we can’t be arsed (very important, this one) and opening car doors for us (not compulsory, but always nice to have).
Anyway, now I think I’ve finally found a template that all men can learn from: Noah, Adam Brody’s character in Nobody Wants This. Writer Erin Foster has created the ultimate romcom hero – so much so that boys should be shown it at school from the age of 15 onwards, with compulsory note taking and modules on how to kiss without impersonating Henry the Hoover.
Noah isn’t a Darcy-esque meany. He’s not emotionally avoidant and (yes, I know this is a bit fantastical) he is actually capable of admitting when he’s wrong. To put the icing on this considerably tempting cake, he’s also Seth from The OC, all grown up with a beard that doesn’t make you think of lumberjacks or guys who work in small plates restaurants.
But there’s always a catch, isn’t there? Because all TV shows and relationships need a bit of conflict and mild peril to keep them interesting. What’s Noah’s dark secret? Is he a freelance executioner? Does he sell pyramid schemes? Does he share his Strava results on Facebook? Is he on Hinge with a bio that says ‘I like Sunday roasts’?
Well, no, not quite. He’s a rabbi. And his romantic foil Joanne, played with customary sparkliness by Kristen Bell, is a Gentile. Not only that, but she’s a self-absorbed podcaster who talks about bad dates and vibrators. Will they say Shalom to romance or will there be a whole load of kvetching followed by a podcast about how rabbis never take their yarmulkes off in bed?
Obviously, true love never runs smooth, and Nobody Wants This is everything you want a romcom to be – lovable and sharp witted, with two leads who actually seem to like each other.
The supporting characters win hearts too: Joanne’s cynical and competitive sister Morgan, Noah’s bumbling brother Sacha, and even the head rabbi has considerable comedy chops (yes, to save you a Google search, it IS Ned Ryerson from Groundhog Day).
There are also some very funny skewerings of LA social mores. A proud mother at the synagogue announces: ‘My son is making a documentary about the history of documentaries.’ Meanwhile, Joanne and Morgan’s mother is in denial about their gay father and obsessed with healers, shamans and woo woo spirit guides. “Tonight she’s doing ayahuasca with her Uber driver, if I read her text correctly.” Joanne shrugs.
If I have any criticism of it, it’s that these two are setting up the rest of us to fail. While we stumble through life having arguments in the B&Q car park and trying to work out what to have for dinner, they’re gorgeous, witty, madly in love and always seem to be at nice restaurants drinking red wine out of large goblets. Also, they have amazing hair. Nobody Wants This? Yeah, right. To quote the ultimate romcom – I’ll have what she’s having.
Nobody Wants This is on Netflix now.
