Lily Collins addresses her tumultuous relationship with her father Phil Collins with an open letter in her new book of essays, ‘Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me.’
Lily Collins addresses her tumultuous relationship with her father Phil Collins with an open letter in her new book of essays, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me.
“Because my dad was often gone, I never wanted to do anything that would make him stay away even longer,” she writes in the chapter titled “A Letter to All Dads.” “I became extra careful about what I said and how I said it, afraid he’d think I was angry or didn’t love him. And the truth is, I was angry. I missed him and wanted him there.”
The 27-year-old actress’ parents divorced when she was 5 and Phil Collins then moved from England to Switzerland, creating an estrangement that she writes had a profound effect on her — ranging from relationship issues to her struggle with eating disorders.
“I’ve realized that many of my deepest insecurities stem from these issues with my dad,” she writes. “It’s taken me over a decade to resolve some of them (others I’m still resolving) and to finally build up the courage to speak my mind to him.”
Lily Collins hopes Unfiltered — which was released Tuesday (March 7) — will help inspire young readers generally, but with this chapter in particular the intent is to help girls reach out to their own fathers.
“Even if they’re listening, sometimes our dads still don’t truly hear what we’re saying,” writes Collins. “So feel free to read this letter to your dad or use it as a guide to write your own … All you can do is stay true and tell him how you feel.”
At times, Lily Collins addresses her musician father directly as well, telling him she forgives him for the mistakes that he made and “for not always being there when I needed and for not being the dad I expected.” As well, she makes an invitation for the future.
“There’s still so much time to move forward. And I want to. I’m inviting you to join me,” she writes. “I’ll always be your little girl.”
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