Dear reader,

This author is one who typically refuses to write about women’s bodies and/or body image and/or weight loss trends, as she simply doesn’t find them interesting, but also because she writes to you as a woman with the most desirable body type, Rubenesque, and doesn’t want to brag. So, one can imagine my surprise when a fellow Rubenesque angel, Nicola Coughlan, president of the “perfect breasts” society, had to endure hateful comments about the majesty of her naked body as seen in all its glory on Bridgerton season 3. I won’t do you the dishonor of quoting the slander here, gentle reader, but rest assured, the rest of the cast is at her side.

Simone Ashley, star of season 2, came to our leading lady’s defense:

“Yeah, the haters are going to hate, and I think we can all relate to that, but I really don’t think that she’s allowing that to bother her,” Ashley said. “She has a strong and fruitful career and entire life ahead of her. And I really believe in her, as the world does as well.” Louder for the people in the back, please, Miss Ashley!

“I think Nicola is just absolutely flying,” she added. “She is a gorgeous, strong, confident, intelligent woman, seeing her do this press tour and spread so much joy and inspiration to everyone—especially women—all over the world. And I’m inspired by her as well. She’s also a really kind human being, and I think that’s such a universal language that people can relate to.”

Indeed, such kind words. The other universal language Coughlan is fluent in, however, is that of “Bow-chica-wow-wow,” which she so masterfully displayed in this recent ad campaign for Kim Kardashian’s Skims:

I hear tell it was this very campaign that led to the invention of a new sexuality: Nicolasexual. I am confident we won’t have to have this little chat again.

Sincerely,

Lady Whistledown.