There’s just one big problem with tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live. It went nowhere fast. Perhaps the gravest sin of any TV show is when it bores you, and this could have been an exciting, romantic, dramatic episode but it ended up spinning in circles. I know that Danai Gurira wrote it, and people are very excited about that fact and a lot of gushing praise is being sung across the fandom, and certainly parts of this episode were very strong. Unfortunately, it was also super repetitive and I think with a little work, it could have been a lot better.

Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Michonne (Danai Gurira) jumped out of a helicopter last week and landed in the ocean. The helicopter itself crashed into a nearby building and there were no survivors. The CRM even came and blasted the building down to bury the evidence because the CRM is not only super powerful, but super secretive.

This is a pretty great opportunity to fake your death. A fake death would allow them to leave the CRM without Jadis retaliating. She really has no reason to if they’re dead and no reason to suspect they faked it given the crash. Michonne even says so, but Rick says “No.”

And then, for pretty much the rest of the entire episode, they argue about it. And that argument—interrupted once by a battle with walkers and once by a much-needed sex scene—goes around and around and around. Michonne thinks Rick is crazy for staying when they have such a good opportunity to escape. Rick is crazy, rambling about his dreams and doing the whole broken mind schtick. Until he really breaks down and opens up about it all, she’s pretty pissed at him.

But it still doesn’t make sense. Rick’s whole plan—to change the CRM from within—is a pipe-dream. And the fact that he chopped off his own hand to get away, and now is refusing to take this chance doesn’t feel very Rick to me. Sure, he eventually agrees, but did it have to take this long? They could have gotten the argument and his dream “confession” over in a few minutes, then the sex scene, then the fight to get out of the building. Then we could have gotten on with the actual plot.

The stick shift moment was funny. And the building they found themselves in was pretty neat, but of course a place that nice can’t last once our heroes arrive. Remember, the one consistent thing across The Walking Dead and its spinoffs is wherever our survivors end up, whatever safe-haven or enemy encampment, will soon be brought to ruin. And so this still-somehow-functioning condo they arrive at, with such stupendous luck after leaping into the ocean (lake?), comes crashing down.

Off they go, driving away in a hybrid stick-shift car and some nice music carries us into the credits. I stuck around for the preview of next week’s episode and (spoilers) Michonne says “This can’t end with us going home!” which honestly makes me want to tear my hair out. After an entire episode of Michonne telling Rick “We need to go home. This isn’t you. You’re lying. We have to get back to our kids. They stole years of our lives. The kids might be in trouble.” After finally convincing him, now she says “This can’t end with us going home!”???

I know there’s missing context, but it’s just really frustrating. So far we’ve had one pretty bad episode of The Ones Who Live, one surprisingly good episode, one decent episode and now this one, which does hit some strong emotional beats but just wraps those in tedious and repetitive conversation. At least our leading man and lady finally shut up long enough to have sex, which is honestly the first thing they should have done the moment they found themselves in the most luxurious condo in the apocalypse. It’s been years, guys. They should have only stopped having sex when the CRM chopper showed up and blasted the building. Clearly, they needed some sexual healing, sexual heeeealing. 

So yeah. I’m a little frustrated that this took up an entire sixth of this show. We did need some good one-on-one Rick and Michonne scenes, but the format was all wrong, the pacing was off and even though the dialogue was fine, it just went in too many circles.

Scattered Thoughts

• The special effects for the crashed helicopter looked weird. This show has mostly looked great but that was a bit jarring. Not Season 7 deer jarring, but not great.
• The moment with the phone with Carl drawn on it was really nice. I really think if they had condensed all the drama/arguing down and had it occupy less of the episode, it would have hit a lot harder for me. Less is more sometimes. Get to that sex scene faster and get on the road.
• At least get to the sex scene before the building is starting to collapse, ya know? And don’t take the elevator.
• Michonne and Nat spent a year recovering. That’s pretty crazy! Still mad they killed off Nat.
• I did think that it was good Michonne told Rick about RJ but that bit threw me off a bit also. His reaction was so leaden. I get that he’s supposed to be this broken man, but it also doesn’t quite add up. Jadis is the only reason he isn’t trying to escape so he’s not that broken, and Jadis will now think he’s dead. I don’t get it. I’m with Michonne on this one all the way down. Even his stuff about dreams doesn’t really make sense when you think about it. Like, okay, you stopped dreaming about your loved ones now you can go see them (except Carl, because Scott Gimple killed him!)
• The Roomba kind of stole the show for me. Poor guy. He is not a Roomba That Lived. I want a Nat and Roomba spinoff.

Finally, I think I’m still stewing over something a little bigger-picture, which is that The Walking Dead’s main leads wanted off the show, got off the show, and really kind of messed up what The Walking Dead should have been in the end. This feels tacked-on and unearned. As much as it is nice to see them back together, I think the actors should have stuck it out on the main show and gotten the job done. This feels like too little, too late.