In a franchise that literally takes place during a zombie apocalypse, it should come as no surprise that The Walking Dead has a great number of deaths throughout the series, but some are decidedly more significant than others, especially when it comes to the character development of one person: Rick Grimes. Rick is the main protagonist of The Walking Dead, and has led his group through hell and back before his story finally comes to an end. And during that time, Rick went through a number of changes, most of which correspond with a few key deaths.

Living through an apocalypse means not only witnessing horrors beyond comprehension, but also being forced to commit them. In order to survive, Rick Grimes and his group had to make one impossibly difficult decision after another. Admittedly, some were easier than others, like killing Walkers that were once people they recognized, while others were horrifically challenging, like ordering executions or launching a strike against another group of survivors – and everything in between. Out of them all, these are the 10 deaths in The Walking Dead that permanently changed Rick Grimes.

10Rick Shooting ‘Bicycle Girl’ Completed His Emergence into this New World

The Walking Dead #1 by Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore

Almost immediately after walking out into the world from his hospital room (as he was in a coma during the initial outbreak), Rick Grimes comes across a bicycle, with a zombified girl lying on the ground next to it. Rick takes the bike and uses it to quickly and safely get to his next location, which is a decision that may have saved his life.

Before setting off to find his family, Rick paid a visit to the bicycle girl who inadvertently saved his life, and put her out of her misery. By doing so, Rick became fully immersed in this horrific new world he woke up in, as this was his first Walker kill of the entire Walking Dead series, and was just a preview of the man he’d have to become to survive.

9Shane’s Death Shook Rick to His Core, in More Ways than One

The Walking Dead #6 by Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore

When Shane started to resent Rick upon his return, and even plotted to kill him in the woods, Rick was understandably confused and heartbroken. And when Shane was shot in the neck in front of him, Rick was stunned and horrified, as one of the first people he’d seen die was his former best friend. However, what shook Rick more to his core than Shane nearly killing him, and dying in front of him, was who killed Shane: Carl.

Carl is Rick’s son, and he was just a boy when he killed Shane, which is something that leaves a permanent scar on one’s psyche. The fact that his own son went through such horror, along with the shock of seeing his former best friend die in front of him, utterly shook Rick to his core.

8Rick Killing Shane’s Zombie Gave Him the Closure He Needed

The Walking Dead #15 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

When he learns that people turn into zombies when they die, whether they’ve been bitten by the infected or not, Rick digs up Shane’s body to discover that he had, in fact, been turned into a Walker. After saying some final words to his one-time best friend, Rick does what he came there to do and puts a bullet in Shane’s zombified head, laying to rest their feud once and for all.

Rick killing Shane’s zombified form was the closure he needed to truly move forward as a survivor of this post-apocalyptic world. It was the final nail in the coffin of his past, and a promise to do whatever he needed to do to ensure a future for his family – the one Shane nearly killed him for.

7Rick Allowing Tyreese to Kill Chris was a Major Turning Point

The Walking Dead #15 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

During their time in the prison, Rick aligned himself with Tyreese, and they worked together to turn the prison into a thriving community. However, right at the start, a boy named Charlie killed Tyreese’s daughter during what was supposed to be a dual-assisted suicide, where they’d both kill the other simultaneously. When Tyreese saw what Charlie had done, he strangled him to death, and he did so right in front of Rick.

Rick could have stopped Tyreese, but he understood the rage he felt, and knew that Charlie’s life wasn’t worth creating a rift between them. Charlie’s death was a turning point in Rick’s character, as his morality shifted from that of a dutiful cop to a more complex leader in an increasingly barbaric world.

6Lori & Judith’s Deaths Utterly Destroyed Rick, Causing Hallucinations

The Walking Dead #48 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

When the Governor and his forces attack the prison, Rick and his core family – consisting of his son Carl, his wife Lori, and his infant daughter Judith – make a run for the gates. However, when the Governor’s forces open fire on them, Lori and Judith are killed while Rick and Carl make it out of the prison safely. While Rick survived, a piece of him died with his wife and daughter, and the grief he suffered led him to experience temporary hallucinations of Lori calling him on the phone.

Up until this point, Rick had yet to experience true loss. He’d seen friends and allies die around him, but no one he truly cared about or loved until Lori and Judith were ripped from his life in a moment of horrific violence that stuck with Rick until his final days.

5Rick Murdering Caesar Martinez was Perhaps His Darkest Kill

The Walking Dead #36 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

Caesar Martinez was from Woodbury, where the Governor was the undisputed leader. He sought sanctuary at the prison, and meant to go back to Woodbury to collect as many people as he could to bring them to the safety of the prison, away from the cruel tyranny of the Governor. However, Rick only saw Martinez as an agent of the Governor, who would have given away their location and put them all in danger. So, Rick murdered Martinez.

This is perhaps Rick’s darkest murder, as he not only killed a man trying to do what was best for his people – not unlike himself – but he also denied all those people Martinez would have saved the chance for salvation away from the Governor, cementing Rick as a much darker, morally ambiguous character than fans originally thought.

4Rick’s Most Brutal Kill Turns Him into “A Living Zombie”

The Walking Dead #57 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

When Rick and Carl are ambushed by a trio of bandits, they are brutally beaten, and Carl is nearly sexually assaulted. At the moment Rick fully comprehends the horrific danger that awaits his son, he goes berserk. Rick bites the jugular out of one of the bandits’ throats before unleashing his wrath on the others, turning himself into a vicious monster to protect himself and – more importantly – his son.

In the bonus material included in The Walking Dead Deluxe #57, Robert Kirkman himself admits that this moment is when Rick became “a living zombie“, noting the animalistic manner in which he killed those attackers. The murders were justified, to be sure, but insanely brutal all the same, and put Rick in danger of losing what remained of his humanity permanently, just like so many others he’d encountered in this post-apocalyptic world.

3Glenn’s Death by the Hand of Negan Helped Pull Rick Back from Barbarism

The Walking Dead #100 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

Watching Glenn get beaten to death by Negan wasn’t just one of the most traumatic murders Rick had ever witnessed, but it also cemented Negan as Rick’s arch enemy for pretty much the rest of the series. What’s interesting about that, however, is that Rick’s hatred of Negan was the only way to prove how committed he was to justice later down the road.

When Rick has the chance to kill Negan, he chooses to imprison him for his crimes instead, which is only effective in setting an example for practically the rest of humanity because of how much Rick hated Negan. Therefore, while Glenn’s murder itself was a horrifying moment for Rick to witness, the change it had on him was overwhelmingly positive, as Negan arguably pulled Rick back from the brink of full-blown barbarism.

2Andrea’s Death Causes Rick to Lose His Will to Live

The Walking Dead #167 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

Andrea is bitten by a zombie, and by the time she revealed as much to Rick when they were back in their home, she was in her last hours of life. This issue is one of the most heart-wrenching in the series, especially for Rick, who is so broken by Andrea’s death that he loses his own will to live, proven true when he lies next to Andrea after she died, leaving himself completely vulnerable to being bitten by her once she became a zombie.

Andrea’s death came during a time of real change in the world, as the newfound society Rick was helping to forge was actually starting to take hold. Rick believed he’d be able to spend the rest of his life with Andrea, and then she died, utterly destroying Rick in the process – though making him a stronger leader as a result.

1Rick Grimes’ Death Changed the World of The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead #191-192 by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard

The final death Rick Grimes faced – like everyone else – was always destined to be his own, and in Rick’s case, his death utterly rocked the entire world. On the surface, Rick’s death was a senseless one. Sebastian (the spoiled son of a want-to-be dictator) shot Rick in his room after he convinced the people of the Commonwealth to embrace a more civilized approach to electing a leader than the all-out war that would have kept Sebastian’s family in power.

However, while his murder was senseless, Rick’s death was immensely impactful. Rick became the martyr this new world desperately needed, and allowed the fraction of humanity that Rick helped cultivate to thrive, just as it was on the brink of utter collapse. Rick’s death may not have changed him, but it did change the world of The Walking Dead, making it one of the 10 most impactful in Rick Grimes‘ life.