I’ve never seen a man (or elf!) this beautifully, hilariously gullible.

These rings will be beyond any power yet devised,” Celebrimbor (Charles Edwards) said in last week’s Rings of Power episode. “They shall be rings of power.” Wow. He said the thing! As I continue to struggle pronouncing everyone’s names with the correct “R” trills, the one thing I was absolutely certain of was this: The elven smith would eventually say the title of the show. I’m just thankful he didn’t declare, “They shall be The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power on Amazon Prime Video!”

I knew Celebrimbor would call them “rings of power” not just because he forges the rings but also because he’s by far the best character in The Rings of Power’s second season. The way Sauron (Charlie Vickers) repeatedly tricks him without lifting a finger is comedy gold. After the villain lies to Celebrimbor by saying that High King Gil-galad (Benjamin Walker) forbids the creation of any more rings, he instantly flips from “I refuse to make any more rings!” to “No one tells me what to do!” Celebrimbor is like a slapstick actor from the silent-film era, slipping on the same banana peel over and over again.

In episode 5, he flat out admits to Sauron that he’s aware that the trickster is incepting ideas into his head, only to turn around and do whatever he tells him to without much of a fight. “We cannot give rings to men,” Celebrimbor says after Sauron urges him to continue. “The risk of corruption is simply too great.” He even denies Sauron, stating, “My answer is ‘No.’ The rings of power are complete.” He writes a letter to Gil-galad and fibs that he’s closing the forge. It doesn’t matter. Sauron convinces Celebrimbor that he somehow tainted the dwarf’s rings himself by fibbing to Gil-galad.

“Even when a work is yet in an artist’s bosom, it begins to disobey him,” Celebrimbor later tells his workers. He blames hubris, claiming atonement for their mistakes. “Only by completing the rings,” he says, can they “balance the whole project, and somehow redeem us all.” As if this whole bit couldn’t get any sillier, Sauron uses a pulley to lift a massive anvil into the air like he’s Wile E. Coyote setting a trap for the Road Runner. Oh no, I hope that doesn’t fall!

Dwarves, Your Time Is Almost Up

Meanwhile, Durin IV (Owain Arthur) remains completely correct about everything all the time. He rightfully doubted Sauron’s effect on the rings before they were ever forged, and now their presence in Khazad-dûm is driving his father insane. King Durin III (Peter Mullan) claims to know the exact location of mithril deposits in the mines, even though digging in his chosen direction would break a foundational wall and kill them all in a mine collapse.

“This is where we are meant to dig,” the king says, hitting the wall with his ax until he breaks through and showers the dwarven city with light. “We bring the sun to us!” he declares. “It is daybreak once more in our mountain!” But when Disa (Sophia Nomvete) travels into the depths of Khazad-dûm, she hears a monster’s roar. Balrog…is that you? I give it three more weeks.

Amazon Prime
The doomed mountain of the dwarves is curiously not named Mount Doom. That’s a different mountain.

Humans Are the Worst

Pharazôn (Trystan Gravelle) is now the ruler of Númenor. He has a cool scepter, at least! Everything’s dandy. And yet he can’t act normally for a single scene. Pharazôn randomly turns to his son, Kemen (Leon Wadham), and says, “Once, your mother prophesied that you would come to ill ends.” His son is taken aback. Um…what, Dad? Did you just tell me I’m going to die? Papa Grim Reaper leaves him hanging, warning his son that he’ll only reveal his fate if he succeeds in completing a special task: deal with Elendil (Lloyd Owen).

If it’s tough to remember who all these people are, know that you’re not insane. This fantasy series has a whole Wiki page dedicated to identifying the characters—and even a complicated series like House of the Dragon doesn’t need that. (Maybe it would be a different case if the HBO series were titled The Game of Thrones: The House of the Dragon.) But these characters are all the humans in Middle-earth, doomed to semi-defeat Sauron alongside the elves and then tragically succumb to his evil once again.

We get a taste of that soullessness when Kemen rudely interrupts a funeral service for all the Númenóreans who lost their lives in the Southlands. He declares that the shrine is condemned by order of the king. An elder reminds him, in disbelief, that he’s talking about the oldest shrine in the city. Kemen doesn’t care. He’s here to ruffle feathers and abuse his powers, hopefully provoking Elendil to do something rash.

After the captain strikes him, Kemen orders his guards to apprehend him. A cadet named Valandil (Alex Tarrant) defends him by fighting Kemen, but the dishonorable prince stabs him in the back after Valandil spares his life. Then he washes the blood off his sword in their ceremonial waters. This guy sucks! Celebrimbor, please do not give him a ring.