Criston Cole, you are no longer the most hated man in fantasy TV.
Kemen was a somewhat minor presence throughout The Rings of Power Season 1, albeit an unmistakably slimy one. As a rising politician, he worked with his father Ar-Pharazôn (Trystan Gravelle) behind the scenes to turn the people of Númenor against Queen Tar-Míriel (Cynthia Addai-Robinson). He even tried his hand at some sneaky arson in order to stop the Númenorean forces going to Middle-earth.
But now that Pharazôn is king, Kemen is able to operate in the open, with all the authority of Númenor behind him. That kind of unchecked power leads to some seriously nasty, entitled behavior. In just the fifth episode of Season 2, Kemen goes on quite the evil tear, cementing himself as one of the biggest threats to Middle-earth — and the most punchable character in the series.
Kemen’s reign of terror begins with a task from his father: Strip the members of the Sea Guard of their ranks. That includes Captain Elendil (Lloyd Owen), whose loyalty to Míriel and faithfulness to the Valar constitute as treason in Kemen’s eyes.
As Elendil hands in his sword, his former sailors salute him in an “O Captain! My Captain!” moment straight out of Dead Poets Society. Of course, Kemen interrupts the proceedings with the snotty comment, “He’s nobody’s captain now.” Shut up, man! Isn’t it enough you’ve turned Elendil’s daughter Eärien (Ema Horvath) against him? Leave the bratty remarks at home!
Leon Wadham and Trystan Gravelle in “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.” Credit: Ross Ferguson / Prime Video
Kemen only gets worse as the episode goes on, waltzing into the oldest shrine to the Valar in Númenor and breaking up a memorial service for the soldiers who died in Middle-earth. Hey, wasn’t one of the biggest reasons people hated Míriel because she let soldiers go to Middle-earth in the first place? The hypocrisy is off the charts! The least you could do is let people grieve these losses in peace before you start condemning their shrines.
But Kemen isn’t into doing the least evil. He’s here to do the absolute most, whether that’s pettily smashing a Valar relic, poking at Elendil’s strained relationship with Eärien, or smirking like there’s no tomorrow. Serious props to Wadham for selling Kemen’s infuriating self-satisfaction so hard. He somehow manages to make a seemingly innocuous statement like “It’s in the way of the new aqueduct” the most enraging line in the entire show.
Thankfully, Elendil must have heard my pleas for someone to haul back and punch Kemen in the face, because the legend smacks the living daylights out of him. Remember when Tyrion slapped Joffrey in Game of Thrones? Yeah, I felt the exact same levels of hype here.
The ensuing brawl doesn’t end well for Elendil’s men, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t rock to see Kemen get absolutely bodied by former Sea Guard member Valandil (Alex Tarrant), though he’s ultimately too honorable to finish Kemen off. But you know who doesn’t have any problem being dishonorable? That’s right, Kemen. Númenor’s biggest twerp stabs Valandil in the back, and just like that, I need him to get decked in the face again. Too bad Elendil’s being thrown in jail; otherwise I know he’d follow through.
